There comes a season in our lives when we stand at a crossroads in our relationships and are faced with the question: Is this still working for me? Has the timeline of this relationship run its course?
This experience is very human. And even with that, it is also one of the most challenging experiences.
Be it our marriages, our friendships, or our families, sometimes our souls ask us to sit with our emotions. To evaluate where the relationship stands and what possibilities it still holds.
How do our bodies respond to the energy of the relationship?
Are we retreating inside ourselves, closing off our hearts?
Do we find ourselves starting to dread interaction with that person because we are aware of the disconnection, as it is screaming at us like a neon billboard every time we enter the same room?
Often, out of comfort, fear, uncertainty, guilt, and a desire not to ruffle feathers, we stay in relationships that start bringing more challenges and unhappiness than they do good.
And often it isn’t because the person is bad or wrong, nor are we, but because, as we are meant to do, we evolve, and sometimes that means we outgrow relationships. Remaining in them can slowly create pain for both people involved.
Sometimes we feel guilty for changing. We carry the fear of hurting people if we choose ourselves and what truly makes us happy. We think we are being loyal when the truth is, we are silencing our needs in order to remain because of history, obligation, or hope that things will improve.
Silently, we grieve the person someone once was, or mourn what we hoped the relationship would become.
Sometimes, we become more comfortable with suffering because society paints suffering as normal. Acceptable. But suffering and shrinking ourselves is not what our souls came here to do. That is part of the illusion that keeps us trapped in cycles and patterns that bring more harm than good.
The truth is, our souls are always guiding us because our purpose is to learn and grow, and sometimes that means we reach a point where we have evolved, and with that comes misalignment with others. Sometimes the lessons we were meant to learn within a relationship have simply run their course.
I understand this on a deeply personal level because I have lived through the grief of relationships changing after I chose to speak my truth openly. Some relationships in my life could not survive the breaking of silence around painful dynamics, and that reality brought immense grief with it.
I know what it feels like to mourn people who are still alive. To wrestle with guilt for changing, and to question whether choosing your own healing makes you selfish. But I have also learned that love cannot thrive where truth must constantly be abandoned in order to keep the peace. And sometimes healing asks us to accept that not every soul is meant to walk beside us forever.
We also place enormous pressure on relationships, believing that if they end, then we must have failed. That if we had only tried harder, stayed longer, sacrificed more, or suffered quietly enough, we could somehow force the relationship into what we needed it to become.
That is not love. That is the ego, afraid of change and remaining loyal to a pattern that has long stopped serving us.
We can love someone deeply and still reach the end of what that relationship was meant to be.
And perhaps the most empowering thing we can do — for ourselves and for the other person — is to release our attachment to the outcome. To honor the relationship for all of its seasons. To give it room to expand, or to naturally fade, without forcing, clinging, or betraying ourselves in the process.
Not from a place of numbness, but from a place of acceptance. Understanding that every soul is on its own journey, and sometimes that journey guides us toward new landscapes, new lessons, and new ways of loving ourselves wholly and honestly.
Today’s soul letter is for the ones among us who are weary and have been pushing for so long that it feels like they are spinning their wheels and getting nowhere.
Do you remember the last time you felt truly rested, not just in your body, but in your soul?
We are allowed to rest, and sometimes life is asking us to do exactly that — to take a step back and embrace hermit mode, so that we can learn balance, so that we can honor ourselves with much-needed nurturing.
May this be your gentle reminder to carve out time for you. Not everything needs to be done today. Not every email or text message needs to be answered. Sometimes your soul is asking you to pause and enjoy the small things in life without the hustle and grind that we have been conditioned to chase.
We are taught that life is happening to us, but life is actually happening for us. And sometimes it is in the quiet where we gain clarity and new aspirations, setting our feet on a new path toward more joy and fulfillment.
Have you ever found yourself wanting to ask for that promotion… or step into a new position at work, but fear holds you back?
Maybe it’s starting your own business, because deep down, you know you are an entrepreneur. Perhaps it’s a book stirring inside of you, waiting to be nurtured and brought into the world.
We all have a purpose, no matter how big or small. Sometimes life asks us to be brave. Sometimes our soul nudges us toward a new adventure that would make us happier and freer. Sometimes all it takes is dipping your toes into something new to discover what your heart has been longing for all along.
We are never too young or too old. It is never too late. There is never a perfect time. It is in the trying that we learn, grow, and gain experience.
I remember when I started recording talking head videos three years ago for my courses, and how nervous I was. I’m not someone who spends much time looking in the mirror. Not because I don’t like what I see, but simply because it’s not something I focus on.
I also don’t really take selfies. No particular reason… I just don’t. And I remember my sisters (who are 38–42 now) asking me, “Naomi, what’s your good side?” while trying to pull me into a photo. I would frown and say, “I didn’t know I had a good side.” 🙂
But back to those talking head videos… I recently looked at the raw footage, and the nerves, the fear, it was real. I wanted to reach through the screen and give that version of me a massive hug.
And yet, here I am, three years later, putting myself out there on YouTube. I have always preferred being behind the scenes. So if I can do it, I know you can too.
Because the truth is, we are all creators. Simply living life requires us to create.
So if you have that book inside of you, gently but persistently asking to be written, be brave and begin. If it’s a business waiting for you to start, take the first step.
I believe in you, beautiful soul. Your uniqueness is something only you possess. No one can shine the way you do.
There are many teachers, coaches, and creators in this world… but your people are waiting for you. Not everyone connects with everyone. And you may be the one someone has been searching for.
Think about how many YouTubers, podcasts, or authors you’ve come across that didn’t quite resonate… and then suddenly, you find someone who does. Someone who sparks something in you. Someone you want to keep listening to, learning from, returning to.
That “someone” for another person… could be you.
Someone is waiting for you to step out of the shadows so they can be touched by your gifts. There is only one of you. 🫵🏼
And each time you step out, it becomes a little easier. You become a little braver. And there is nothing more rewarding than watching your creations come to life.
Like many of us, you may have learned early on to choose survival over authenticity in order to feel safe. We rejected parts of ourselves to fit into environments that could never truly make space for us, often because of their own limitations. These early lessons taught us to take up less space in the world, to set limits on ourselves. A choice made in the name of survival comes at a cost, one that eventually catches up to us.
We start to feel the weight of it all.
Our energy slowly drains away.
And we grow so disconnected from the Self that we often no longer know who we are or what brings us joy.
So we keep pushing through, forcing life to happen, because this is how we learned it had to be.
When we begin to see these patterns, and the disruption this way of coping has created in our lives, we are invited to look with self-compassion and grace for the younger version of us who did the best they could with what they knew at the time. From there, we can meet ourselves with the wisdom we’ve gained through living. Not to shame or judge, but to choose differently. Change doesn’t happen overnight. It happens through awareness, through repetition, and through consciously choosing not to turn against ourselves for perceived failures.
As we honor what once kept us safe and gently recommit to the Self, we begin to break old patterns and create new ways of living that support our well-being.
And in choosing ourselves, life begins to soften.
Our nervous systems begin to settle.
And something within us remembers how to feel at home again.
As we enter a time of year loved by many and dreaded by others, it’s important to remember the truth of the season. Over time, that truth has been buried by comparison, pressure, expectations, rushing, and the commercialization of it all.
I encourage you to remember the quiet beneath the season, because being present is the truest gift you give yourself and others.
We often find ourselves overscheduled and weighed down by the pressure to attend event after event, to show up at every gathering with a smile, to force ourselves into the festive spirit. We overspend out of obligation, yet what is the purpose of giving to others if you walk into the new year in debt, worn out, and wondering how it all flew by? How you barely had a moment to find your own “peace” and “joy,” the exact words plastered everywhere this time of year.
This is what becomes tainted in our world. We are conditioned to believe that stress, pressure, and chaos are normal. But the truth is, most people won’t remember the gift you bought them next year, although they will remember how you made them feel. We become so focused on making sure everyone else is happy, tending to their needs, that we forget to tend to our own.
This season is about you, too.
You are allowed to simplify. If saying no honors your peace, that is a gift you give yourself. Make your well-being and happiness matter this season. Maybe it’s curling up by the fire with your favourite warm drink, reflecting on the year that’s coming to an end, and saying, I made it. It’s been hard, but here I am. Or maybe it’s acknowledging, I did well this year. I made progress, and I’m proud of myself. Perhaps it’s declining an invitation because you’re choosing to step away from spaces that don’t feel right for you.
Let this be a gentle reminder that the season isn’t about perfection. It is about presence. Make it about connection, not just with friends, family, and colleagues, but with yourself. Enjoy the memories of seasons past and create new ones you can look back on in years to come. Enjoy the quiet moments. Honor yourself. This is the true magic of the season.
With much love, from one soul to another, I wish you the truth of your own needs and heart.
Recent Comments